My plan for a stress-free holiday season:

MURDER!

Congrats to FDC, Mrs. Importantness and the fambly...

... on converting a twenty pound turkey into solid waste!

Looking for gift ideas for Sonny D?

Look no further than The Sharper Image!

Set phasers on "Stunning!"

Magic in a Minute as seen on cops!

Finally, something that I produced made it on cops! I always thought it would be an offspring of some sort... but this will do!

How do you know when Eric Johnson has been in your neighborhood?

The garbage cans are knocked over and the dog is pregnant!

LTD EDITION UPSIDE DOWN MAGIC KIT

The handle of my new magic kit is on the bottom. Get yours at Barnes & Noble before the first 15000 are sold! After that the "uniquness" will be corrected.

Does anyone remember my old roomate Andy?

He's learning how to play the piano!