It seems a shame to carve these beauties!

"But carve them I must", says mother!

LOCAL MAN APPEARS AS EXTRA IN SYNDICATED COMIC STRIP

HEY! Who's that snooty waiter?!?

Well, I'm off to Jeff Busch's baby shower this Saturday!

Any ideas as to a gift would be greatly appreciated.

Here is what the voices in my head are bothering me with today.

When photographed from this angle, does Sandy merely adjust her right eye with a finger so it looks at the camera, and if so does the photographer yell "STOP! Right there! Perfect! now don't move!" once it's aimed correctly. Or, Is it a special "leftward" looking eye purchased specifically for this shot, and what do you suppose something like that would cost...would she have to go in for a fitting accompanied by some art director and a marketing person from Colgate. What would be their initial responce upon first viewing her empty eyehole? Perhaps both eyes are airbrushed in. That seems the safest, but isn't that a bit unfair to Sandy? Man, this is good coffee!

Hey motherfucker! What time is it in Tokyo-izzle?

www.itsablackthang.com

Sonny Dryesdale is dead! Long live Sonny Dryesdale!

Taken from us much too soon.

Illuminati Meeting Last week!

Three of the five most powerful men on the planet met last week for Illuminati-con, Pictured are Las Vegas Magician Mac King, Jeff Knurek (aka The new and improved Santa Claus), and Chicago area gadfly Bill King. Due to conflicting schedules, The Pope and Colonel Sanders were unable to attend the yearly event where decisions that effect the entire world are made. As in previous years the voting on such varied items as "who will rule what" and "what pandemic will be introduced to third worlders" was conducted by dropping pearls into a ornate chest crafted and gifted by the freemasons. A white pearl indicates a "yes" vote and a black pearl a "no." While the votes are held in private and their results are a closely hidden secret, sorces close to the participants have hinted towards a couple of possible decisions that could effect every living person. First, Canada will be colonized by spacemen for brain harvesting in the next decade. And second, Ascots and Monocles are back!