Sunday, October 16, 2005

Illuminati Meeting Last week!


Three of the five most powerful men on the planet met last week for Illuminati-con, Pictured are Las Vegas Magician Mac King, Jeff Knurek (aka The new and improved Santa Claus), and Chicago area gadfly Bill King. Due to conflicting schedules, The Pope and Colonel Sanders were unable to attend the yearly event where decisions that effect the entire world are made. As in previous years the voting on such varied items as "who will rule what" and "what pandemic will be introduced to third worlders" was conducted by dropping pearls into a ornate chest crafted and gifted by the freemasons. A white pearl indicates a "yes" vote and a black pearl a "no." While the votes are held in private and their results are a closely hidden secret, sorces close to the participants have hinted towards a couple of possible decisions that could effect every living person. First, Canada will be colonized by spacemen for brain harvesting in the next decade. And second, Ascots and Monocles are back!

9 Comments:

Blogger Ubermilf said...

How about housedresses and support hose? Will they be back?

11:42 PM  
Blogger Dr. Sardonic said...

I still have Col. Sanders tied up in the basement. You're not going to forget to tell me when to let him go, are you? He's been motionless for quite some time, and it's really starting to smell bad down there. The Pope is starting to complain.

10:45 AM  
Blogger Mr. King said...

Can that pretty fella in the middle make sure I get a pony for my birthday?

4:35 PM  
Blogger Rev. Jack said...

He is pretty...a bit too pretty, I say.

He shouldn't be wearing a monocle, he should be wearing some sort of pastel sweater worn over his shoulders with the cuffs turned in or look like this guy

8:38 PM  
Blogger Mr. King said...

I shall respond to each of you... NOW!

Ubermilf: No, those things were abandoned by the women's libbers but not by women of refinement. They remain as fashionable today as when our monkey ancestors first harnessed the power of licra-spandex 1000 years ago.

Dr Sardonic: The sooner you quit naming the children you keep in your basement after Colonel Sanders and the The Pope, the sooner the healing can begin. Now get some lye and dig some holes.

FDC: Santa comes on xmas, not birthdays silly Jehova's Witless! Hear that ticking? Your intervention is seconds away!

Rev- Right as always!

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hee!!

7:42 AM  
Blogger Mr. King said...

Just because YOU'RE not pretty is no excuse for being mean. And I want my pony. Now. Jackass.
Eric

7:49 AM  
Blogger Mr. King said...

GOD how I love to be corrected!

11:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your all wrong I tell Ye!! the True and sEcret Leader of the World is Homer Simpson. I have him attached to a chain at 'Moes Bar' where he is totally 'wrecked' on Grolsch Beer. I have my minions out trying to seduce GW donw into 'Moes Bar' as well. As for Col Sanders...well you cam keep him, but I bags Ronald Macdonald to come and clean my Humvee.

8:00 AM  

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